I'll make this brief. Imagine that you had two mannequins. Now imagine that you had a spherical zero gravity chamber. Now imagine that you were seriously bored one day and had the idea that you could climb inside the chamber and throw the mannequins at each other and pretend that they were ninjas fighting with each other.

That's pretty much Rubber Ninjas.

As far as I can tell, it works like this: your mannequin -- sorry, "ninja" -- will be tossed in the direction you choose with the directional keys. There is a ragdoll physics model in place, which means that your ninja flops around without any rigidity at all. Your opponent is similarly flopping aimlessly toward you. When they meet, if a hand or a foot randomly connects, it's a strike, the action goes into slow motion, the camera revolves around the "combatants", and tons of tiny red stars fly out to indicate that apparently pain is being dished out.

And then the mannequins disengage and you do it all over again. You can't control your mannequin in any other way than to guide its body toward the other mannequin, and that's it. Now normally, I'm hesitant to be directly negative about a game -- someone has put some time and effort into this after all -- but there is no point to this game, and I don't know why anyone would play it for more than novelty's sake. More to the point, I don't know why anyone would buy this game for $19.95. It's barely a game. But hey, maybe you'll like it. Maybe you'll love it. Maybe you'll have a life-changing epiphany while playing it. For your sake, I certainly hope so. Me, I'm going back to playing Pixie. You can grab Rubber Ninjas right here.