Hey punk! Ya listenin' ta me?! Well you better, 'cause this is the only time yer gonna hear me tell ya thatcha did a good job. I know ya were scared as **** out there, but hey, we all make a living doing this, so whatcha gonna do 'bout it, eh? Anywho, I recorded my sage advice in six installments for ya, in case ya ever want to take a listen at some point in the future. Now got out there, tough guy, and start whackin', stunnin', runnin', and blowin' away. Yer gonna get the goodies when you complete some of the tasks set out for ya by... well, somebody. I have no freakin' clue! Yer blaster-master Force-A-Nature is first up at 10 achievements, the concussion-inducing Sandman is next at 15 achievements, and the hyperactive dodge-a-thon beverage Bonk! is yours for the low, low price of 20 achievements. Now go blow some of those ******* away. Especially the fatso, ya hear?