Da, Comrade? Vat can we help you with? Oh, you haf your new orders? Glorious! Praise to Mother Russia in all her visdom! We heard you will be gettink new weapons to assist in your fight for one of the Amerikanski corporations. While we do not applaud you working for capitalist dogs, we do not question to visdom of the Motherland. So, in celebration of your new orders and weapons, we will give you this document. It details how to acquire your new armaments. Do not misuse it or distribute it to the enemies of Mother Russia, or we will be forced to inform the KGB of your treasonous actions! You may view parts one, two, three, and four of our guide as well.

Show Trial

Kill an enemy with a taunt.

To get this one normally, you must follow pretty much the same strategy as a Pyro's OMGWTFBBQ achievement. Sneak up on a Sniper that is standing still and taunt while you have the shotgun out. This taunt has a slightly longer range than the Pyro's hadoken and triggers faster, but you aren't exactly sneaky. So be careful.

To farm this achievement, get a friend to stand near you. Select the shotgun and do the taunt next to him. As long as he doesn't move, you should get the achievement.. Easy as pie! Probably the best achievement to farm, in fact.

Tip: Doesn't work with the Sandvich.

Heavy Industry

Fire $200,000 worth of minigun rounds in a single life.

This one is exactly the same farming and regular, so I'll just cover it in a single paragraph. Despite the terminology, it's actually one of the easiest achievements to get. You just may wonder what constitutes $200k. Basically, you have to fire 1000 rounds in a single life. This achievement comes from the Meet the Heavy video, which explains the cost of the bullet. To keep track of how far away you are from getting the achievement, it is suggested that you just stay in the spawn, shooting all your rounds, then running into a cabinet once empty. 4 cabinet runs should cover it.

Tip: You won't get the achievement until you die.

Five Second Plan

Kill an enemy in the first 5 seconds after you exit a teleporter.

This one is pretty much just pure luck as to whether or not you can get it in normal play. The gist of the situation, though, has to be like this: you must enter a teleporter that leads to an Engineer's set-up that is currently under attack while spinning your minigun. As soon as you exit, you start attacking. Best palce to do this is the sewers in 2fort.

To farm this one, get a Scout and a friendly Engineer to help you out. Have the Engineer build his teleporters next to each other, rev up your gun, enter and exit, and kill the scout. Can also be done with Natascha, which will count towards your Don't Touch Sandvich achievement.

Tip: It is highly suggested that you enter a teleporter spun up, as it takes a good full second to spin up.

Photostroika

Provide an enemy with a freezecam shot of you taunting while invulnerable.

This one is pretty silly, but completely possible in normal play. During a base assault, have a friendly Medic über you. After you are übered, go on a rampage. As soon as you kill an enemy with any weapon, do a taunt. With any luck, the freezecam will catch you before the über wears off, giving you the achievement easily. If not, try again.

Much like doing it normally, farming involves killing an enemy and taunting while über. However, it is suggested that you kill the enemy in such a way that it snags you another achievement. For example, if you land an uppercut with your fists, you will get the Communist Mani-fisto achievement. Feel free to try out any others (such as Borscht Belt) that may fit the occasion.

Tip: You must still be invulnerable as the freezecam occurs. If you killed while invulnerable, and it wears off right before the freezecam triggers, you won't get the achievement. Also, you must be übered by the medigun.

Konspicuous Konsumption

Eat 100 sandviches.

This one is yet another silly achievement and pretty much serves the same purpose in normal and farming. However, the situation differs slightly. In normal, just take the Sandvich with you on assaults and eat it when you are hurt and a Medic isn't nearby (as normally intended). This allows you to fill your role and work on the achievement. To farm it, just sit in the spawn and eat Sandvich after Sandvich. Keep in mind, though, that it takes 4 seconds to eat a Sandvich, meaning that overall, you must spend 400 seconds eating Sandviches (which comes out to 6 minutes and 40 seconds).

Tips: Obviously, you must have the Sandvich to do this achievement. You can get it by obtaining 10 achievements.

Don't Touch Sandvich

Kill 50 Scouts using Natascha.

A reference to the Meet the Scout video, Don't Touch the Sandvich is another achievement that requires an unlock, in this case the Natascha, which you get for obtaining 15 achievements. To get it through normal play, equip the Natascha and play a defensive Heavy, defending your flag or cap point. As it slows Scouts down, it should be much easier to kill them. So do so. After 50 go down, you get the achievement.

To farm this, get a whole enemy team of Scouts, a dispenser, and the Natascha, and just unload on them. Obviously, they must be willing to sacrifice themselves to your cause. If you don't already have it, this is a great achievement to grind with Big Pharama and Division of Labor, given the amount of killing you plan to do.

Tip: The Natascha deals 25% less damage, so keep that in mind.

Borscht Belt

Kill 10 heavies with The K.G.B.

The final achievement of our guide, and the one which requires the most effort! Not to farm or to get normally, but because in order to get this achievement, you must already have the K.G.B., which requires 22 achievements to obtain. To do it normally, just surprise enemy Heavies and beat them down, preferably with Medic back-up for you. Even better is if there is another Heavy nearby, as the guaranteed criticals make it much easier to kill him and continue the chain.

To farm this, just get a bunch of friends to play opposing Heavies. Whip out your K.G.B and go through them like a hot knife through butter. After 10 fall, you will snag your coveted achievement. We hope it was worth all the effort of getting the K.G.B.

Tip: Remember that the K.G.B. gives 5 seconds of solid criticals after landing a killing blow.